


a little cliché

by thirdgym



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory, bokuakakurotsuki, tsukki is anxious and needs lots of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24596758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdgym/pseuds/thirdgym
Summary: tsukishima thinks he is unlovable. tsukishima thinks too much.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 11
Kudos: 376





	a little cliché

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, the plot belongs to my dear bestie juli, thanks for always helping and giving me such amazing ideas. thanks to sara and meria for all the cheerful comments saying i could finish this!!  
> second, this work is inspired by [mxmtoon's cliche](https://open.spotify.com/track/2h3Q3wDxLNfBh0yX8d3jib?si=x5EI6zpoTkegqms848vSUg).  
> and finally, english is not my first language so if there's any mistake let me know.  
> hope you enjoy!

the smell of books inside the library always made tsukishima feel at peace in his heart, he didn’t know the exact reason, but probably because of the silence. so different from his racing thoughts, since his mind was never quiet.

he was there getting some books so he could go home and meet his friends, well, his _boyfriends_ so they can all study together. 

that made him a little nervous, anxious would be a better word to be honest. everytime he thought about his relationship with the boys he felt a little “not enough” for them. 

_I could be a better boyfriend._

he always wanted to be better, for them. and he totally didn’t feel like he was the best choice.

_I’ll only burden them._

the moment he left the library he bumped into bokuto, who was clearly in a hurry, with messy clothes and his hair up as usual. 

“tsukki!!! wahh… I was looking for you! I’m gonna grab some stuff for us to eat during our study session,” bokuto said making air quotes in ‘study’ “do you want something specific, moonshine?? maybe some apples so we can make an apple pie!!!!”

there’s the stupid and cheesy pet names again. deep inside, tsukki felt warm, but he just didn’t know how to react to all that.

damn, he didn’t even know if he deserved such things.

“I hate apples.” the moment he said it, he regret it. _for god’s sake tsukishima, your boyfriend wants to do something nice for you, and all you can do is give him a dry answer like this… idiot._

here it comes the anxiety train again.

bokuto always looked at him with curiosity in his eyes, sometimes even tilting his head a little. the first time they met they played 20 questions, only because bokuto insisted in knowing all the facts and traits about tsukishima. he didn’t think he was that interesting though, he just listed the things he likes and dislikes. 

bokuto wanted to know all his favorites. food, books, music, teams, even his hogwarts house. 

_do I deserve this kind of attention?_ the answer was always no. he didn’t deserve such a caring boyfriend. 

bokuto loves hugs, cuddles and kisses. tsukishima couldn’t even hold his hand properly without feeling like he was going to do something stupid and ruin everything. 

he found it hard to look bokuto in the eyes when he’s having this trainwreck of thoughts.

“I mean, of course you can make an apple pie. that would be great.” tsukishima said, trying to smile and show that everything was fine. bokuto knew him better, but he respects the way tsukki wants to deal with this kind of thing.

“I’ll buy something else for everyone, maybe some chips and soda!” bokuto gave him a big smile and a kiss on the cheek. “catch you later, firefly!!!”

tsukishima sighed, he was alone for now. _deep breath tsukishima, deep breath._

_x_

[5/02/20, 11:35:17 AM] bokuto koutarou created a new group

[5/02/20, 11:35:18 AM] bokuto koutarou changed the group name to hEL P!!!!!!

[5/02/20, 11:35:19 AM] bokuto koutarou: FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM THAT STUPID YOU WONT BELIEVE 

[5/02/20, 11:35:21 AM] akaashi keiji: actually, i believe.

[5/02/20, 11:35:23 AM] kuroo tetsurou: WHAT HAPPENED

[5/02/20, 11:36:02 AM] bokuto koutarou: akaashi dont be mean IM SAD KURO HELP

[5/02/20, 11:36:02 AM] bokuto koutarou: I FORGOT TSUKKI HATE APPLES and i bought like 10 apples to make him a pie BECAUSE IM DUMB and UGH I FUCKED UP??? NOW TSUKKI’S ALL SAD AND I MADE IT WOSRE

[5/02/20, 11:36:10 AM] kuroo tetsurou: u r dumb indeed but stay calm buy some strawberries on your way there

[5/02/20, 11:37:01 AM] akaashi keiji: bring strawberries and we can make a cake together.

[5/02/20, 11:38:04 AM] bokuto koutarou: nice NICE THANKS GUYS 

[5/02/20, 11:38:40 AM] kuroo tetsurou: no problem we r here for u always

[5/02/20, 11:38:40 AM] akaashi keiji left

  
  


_x_

the deep breaths weren’t helping. as usual. 

his mind was a crazy maze and he couldn’t escape. he walked faster to his locker, he just needed to take some books with him and then he could go home and be alone for a moment. he took the chemistry book and try to close his locker and balance everything on one hand, but everything fell straight to the floor. he sighed loudly, and closed the locker before catching his books. but someone was faster.

“chemistry, huh. that’s something we don’t even have to study, we’re already straight A students in this, babe.” kuroo said, returning his book and giving him a little kiss on the cheek. “I mean… not _straight,_ but you get the point.” 

tsukki smiled a bit, kuroo always had a way of breaking the tension. 

“can I walk you to bus stop?” kuroo asked already following him, he knew tsukki wanted to be quiet, but he also knew that leaving tsukishima alone with his thoughts right now it would just be irresponsible and a bad choice. 

they didn’t need to talk. just walking beside him was already a comforting feeling to tsukki. 

inside him, tsukishima was just an emotional whirlwind. his emotions were always so intense that sometimes he would beg not to feel a thing. 

and kuroo understood that. 

they both were intense, but kuroo could manage that a little better. he was there to hold his hand and tell him that he would help tsukishima, but he needed to talk. he needed to communicate and open himself so kuroo could help him.

that was the hardest part. 

he wanted, but he couldn’t. he felt like he was such a liability for all of them. it was just too much, and no one deserved to deal with that besides himself. 

“you need to stop trying to carry the world on your shoulders you know…” kuroo sai as they arrived at the bus stop. he turned to tsukki, looking him in the eye. 

it was like kuroo could read his mind.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about kuroo, I’m okay.”

“please, you don’t- actually, you can’t lie to me.” kuroo said, holding his hand. “tsukki, don’t worry too much. let us help you, we care for you.”

_but I don’t deserve that._ that’s what he wanted to answer. 

“I’m okay. promise” tsukki said, more to himself than to kuroo. 

“my bus is coming, saved by the bell mister. I’m gonna trust you on this one.” kuroo gave him a kiss and hopped on the bus. “see you later, love.” 

another deep breath and tsukki really felt a little more stable. he wanted to be calm and fine for his boyfriends. he wanted to be cheerful all the time and bring them happiness. he wanted to show them how much he loved all of them. 

but he couldn’t. 

and he felt so guilty about that. 

he just wanted to be perfect for them, but he never felt like it was enough. 

there was this little demon inside his mind that was always telling him how much he deserved to be alone, how many mistakes he already made and how much of a burden he was. 

as his mind kept racing on the same thoughts tsukishima was arriving home. on his front door, he saw akaashi standing there waiting for him.

“took you long enough.” not only punctual, akaashi was always early. “sorry if i came too early, wanted to help you organizing everything for our study session.”

“what is there to organize? we need a table and books.” tsukki said, sounding a little harsh. not on purpose, akaashi knew that. 

“someone is extra salty today.” but different from the others, he answers always using the same tone with tsukki. “I came early because I wanted to be with you? if that’s okay.” 

akaashi was always so charming that always made tsukki weak. maybe because akaashi was a little harder to read than the others, it was like tsukki was drawn by his eyes. 

he could never say no to akaashi.

“sorry. of course it’s okay.” tsukki wanted to get inside his room and cry his eyes out, he was holding for the whole day, but now with akaashi with him, he needed to be strong. 

_deep breaths. deep breaths._

“you’re safe in here. don’t need to hold everything inside.” akaashi said, putting his and tsukki stuff on the table. “go take a shower, but leave the door open if you need anything I can go and help you okay?” 

tsukki had a knot on his throat. he just nodded and went to the bathroom. 

as he took his clothes of and got into the shower, he couldn’t hold it anymore. he broke down and cry. cried everything he had to. cried like he was desperate for air. 

_take a fucking deep breath, for goodness sake._

but he couldn’t. 

his mind was racing in a speed he didn’t even know what his thoughts were. everything was fast and it hurt. hurt so badly. 

_please, stop._

he just wanted the pain inside to stop, he didn’t have words to express how he felt. and that was frustrating. if he couldn’t make it make sense, how was he suppose to ask for help. 

_i’m just damaged._

tsukishima felt the water from the shower stopping and a pair of hands putting a towel around him. 

“hey, it’s me.” those charming eyes could only belong to one person. “bokuto and kuroo arrived, so I came to check on you. come here.” 

akaashi helped him dry and dressed himself, he took him to his room and asked him to sit on the bed. 

tsukki had stopped crying, but his mind was just blank right now. so he just followed akaashi’s voice and his commands. 

“I’m gonna make you some tea and ask bokuto and kuroo to make you company.” akaashi’s voice was low, but comforting. a safe sound.

tsukishima was sitting there, staring at the wall. he felt like a ruin. 

his boyfriends were there in his house and he was like this, how can he be such a bad person? he tried his best, but that wasn’t enough. they don’t deserve this. 

_I’m ruining them._

when he realised he was lying down on the bed with bokuto and kuroo by his side. they were cuddling him, holding him like he was made from porcelain. 

that helped him focused on the material. that he was there. he was trying so hard not to dissociate right now. 

“we’re here with you.” kuroo said, petting tsukki’s hair. 

akaashi came back with the tea and everyone sat on the bed, they were still caring for tsukki, each one on their own way. 

“tsukishima. we love you. we’re happy to be with you.” akaashi was trying to reaffirm his feelings for tsukki, even though he wasn’t the best for that.

“hear me out firefly, you are part of our love, without you we’re not the same. you’re important for us.” bokuto said hugging him, making sure tsukki felt everything he said. 

“you can count on us, love. don’t forget this. we are here to help you, in every single way.” kuroo said, and with that tsukki couldn’t hold the strong facade anymore. 

he let the tears run down his face, as bokuto hold him, kuroo was wiping them off and akaashi holding his hand. 

he felt loved.

he felt at home. they say home is where your heart is and this was the perfect example. they were tsukki’s home. 

although he struggled believing in that sometimes, he felt like he belonged there. with them. inside their arms.

_i love them so much._

and that was that mattered. **love.**

tsukki had a long way to go to be okay with his mind and feelings, but if they were by his side, he could make it. 

bokuto, kuroo and akaashi gave him strength. it seemed to good to be true, he wanted to be with them.

and through all the highs and lows, they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

such a cliche. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! it's been such a long time since i've written something... it feels good to be able to post here again.


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